I really think Laura Trott should stick to cycling. She's an amazing indoor cyclist but people follow her for her cycling, not to hear her talk about politics. Unfollowed.

A photo finish for the most prestigious prize in the Le Giro of Italy – the cream-a-coffee.

First to the top of the coldest mountain on the route gets a nice warm coffee with cream before they tackle the descent. Chateau to Nero Cantona, who has come out of retirement for this

Catching up with the Giro of Italy. So little UK interest this year, sadly, not like the glory days of 2013 when Sir Wiggins came within 9 days of winning the GC (Giro Contest)

No surprise to see Roman Bidet in the breakaway. He'd have enjoyed the start at Pompeii this morning

This has been the most epic, exciting edition of The Paris Roubaix I've ever seen.

The big question now is whether Matthew van der Poo wins by two minutes and 45 seconds or two minutes and 50 seconds.

I'm going for two minutes 45.

A big day in pro professional cycling. It's the Shoulder Prize, the Belgium Classical Race that rewards the sprinter who's prepared to barge his opponents out of the way.

And the Basque Tour, which was the first race that allowed the cyclers to wear skimpy Lycra onesies.

Some of these riders in Dwarfs Door Vlaanderen are way over the height limit! They wear long socks to disguise their real height but we can see some of them are well over six foot. The Union of Cycling Internationally is obsessed with sock length but not rider height, it seems!!!

Meanwhile, not much UK interest in the Homage to Catalonia – the oldest race on the calendar, first held in 1984. Sad to see the Continentals dominating pro professional cycling races to such an extent. The first UK rider on GC (General Contest) is Sean Yates in a lowly 40th.

There's many reasons the cyclers are much faster now. The bikes are more windproofed. The racers get their food in drinks and jelly so they don't have to cycle on a full stomach. Mario Chipolata used to eat a pizza mid-race, which is why it was called the Three Days of Deep Pan!

Today it's the Three Days of Deep Pan – three super exciting days of cycling packed into one day!! In the old days they used to take three days to do the course, now they do it in one, which just shows how much faster the modern pro professionals are at cycling.

Very sad to hear that Laura Trott is retiring from indoor cycling to concentrate on her political career. She's going to lose her seat at the General Election but she could have won another gold medal!!!!

Some of the greatest writers have compared the Milan-San Marino grand prix to a wonderful opera, or a piano concerto or even to sex – although perhaps 200m sprint qualifying is a better comparison.

The Milan-San Marino Grand Prix is proudly the longest and most boring sporting event in the world. Even more boring than horse racing or golf. All the action comes at the end so everyone loves it and is happy to sit through six hours waiting for something to happen.

On the way, they will have to cycle over the Depresser – a hill that causes many a pro professional cyclists' heart to sink – and the Pogo, the final opportunity for a rider to use the road as a springboard for victory.

It's the Milan San Marino Grand Prix today. The longest single-day grand tour monument classic on the pro professional calendar. Almost 300 miles of solid cycling!!! They've started and they won't be in San Marino until almost tea time, which is when Italians drink cappuccino.

Poor Ben Healy had to wear the family sick bowl on his head today because he forgot to bring his proper cycle helmet!! At least it did the job!

I used to love the Strava Bianchi race because of all the segments. But now they've turned it into an individual timed trial it's much more boring.

The pro professional cycling referees really need to find a way to Make Cycling Great Again. #MakeCyclingGreatAgain

As a pro professional cycling expert, one question I get asked a lot my new fans is: How do the cyclists go to the toilet while wearing their skintight outfits.

Well, keep your eyes on Laurence Pissy and you might find out.

If you're wondering how far there is to go to the finish, they've just gone through Kop Van de Wedstrijd again.

Great to see so many famous riders in the escapeaway

Michael Google, Kasper Ass Cream, Johnny Moscow, Tom Peacock and 1999 winner Frank Van Den Broek are all in there!!!

It's all happening at Omelette Het Nosebleed.

Art Won Nowt not having the best start to the season. He had to rent a bike just to take part in today's race!!

The bike must be back at its docking station by 3pm. He'd better get a rattle on or he'll be charged another day's hire!