Almost overslept this morning. That would've been the gayest thing I've ever done

People who walk up and down stairs slow are retarded

Man just had his house destroyed by a tornado but the first thing he mentions is his golf clubs. Truly married to the game.

Officially cemented myself as a Taylormade guy today by purchasing some M2 irons.

Absolute beauties.

First full set of irons to match my stealth driver, Taylormade bag, and tp5x balls. You can say I'm the full package

Do what it takes to be great, by any means necessary.

If I got paired with Brian Harman I think I'd blast him in the head with a 9 iron

Him standing over the ball and fidgeting for a full minute before every shot must be some form of Autism

I had the barista shitting down her leg this morning

'Large cold brew pls'

'Any milk?'

'No black'

*turns iPad around*
'Okay you can tap your card'

'I'm paying cash'

She combusted, started juggling the cup around, didn't know what to do with the cash. Get fucked retard

Movie theater gonna sound like a kennel

Running autism drills tonight

Feel-good pee pee sex is top 5

Would really love to shave my head again but unfortunately I cant be taken seriously with a Bean

He's actually hiding a hot dog that he's trying to eat

MILF continues to impress...

Hasn't missed a single day, always here at 5:30am sharp in the same black leggings and tank top

Looking great!

Gf is mad at me bc I play golf every weekend and don't spend time w her

If she saw me hit that hybrid shot last week on hole 15 and then putt for eagle she'd understand

But no, I'm the asshole

Summer Fridays are almost here boys, hang on for a few more weeks

A little more consistency from the warm weather and Hard stop at 2 is back!

Wider Woods is a force to be reckoned with 😤

Would do a few horrible things to be on the links today

Over 70° today, the ankles are out in the office

#Debut #LetEmBreathe

Dude brushing his teeth in the office bathroom??

People with perfect posture are gay, stop poking your chest out at me